Vigilante manners police


At midnight a couple of days ago an angry Welsh man phoned my house.

“Is that Lynn?” He said.

“Yes,” I replied. Lynn is, after all, my name.

“Where the … [rants something about a phone in a barely decipherable accent],” said he.

“Excuse me, who am I speaking to?” I asked.

“[confusing angry rant]” he said, Welshly.

...continues here


Alcoholism: One for the golden oldies.

While supping on a Lidl’s gin and tonic at a party a while ago I was told by a friend that his gran drinks gin as a thirst-quencher, “she’s not an alcoholic,” he stressed.

Why not? I wonder. I fully intend to be an alcoholic when I’m old. I don’t really care about the addiction side of things, I’m going to be drinking so regularly that it’ll hardly matter. There’ll be no point looking after my body which is sure to have all but given up, and chances are my mind won’t be up to much either.

I’m also contemplating developing a drug habit. Probably when I’m about 80. I plan to collect my pension from the post office, nip round the back to meet my dealer then hobble home with a gram of smack in my cheek.

...continues here



Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Church’s propaganda is all over the internet. Not in a sinister way, but the news that they plan to picket Heath Ledger’s funeral has been posted on facebook and myspace walls everywhere and emailed to death.

They are all too easy to dismiss as a bunch of loons. Because they are a bunch of loons. The fact that they’re so interested in other adults’ sex lives is more than a little bit pervy, and I think all this gay-bashing is more of an excuse to hold signs with rude pictures on them (see madman below) and bond with their peers than anything else.

Mentalist

Really, if you were going to make a serious point would you use a wee picture of two people shagging? I think no.


...continues here

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28 November 2012 at 15:15  

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